Thursday, 5 August 2010

Kids Use Th is Street As A Racetrack

Before I embark on my tirade about "the youth of today" and "old people nowadays" I should like to point out I am at that heady junction of life which is 30 yards (check mirror, signal, then brake) from Life Begins At.

Seriously though, what the fuck is wrong with people over the age of 30?

When I was 18 years old I had a Morris Marina. It was the same colour as the product of a night of Carling, cheap black, and kebabs. It wasn't modified in any significant way, and it didn't have a loud stereo. But it was invariably full of pissed teenagers, who were invariably egging the driver on to drive faster than was boringly necessary. After than I had the Chevette that spawned the obsession, but the less said about offences committed in that, the better. If you totalled up what those of us who drove it got away with and applied them to me personally as the owner, I'd still be inside now.

On that note, let me introduce the more naive of you to the phrase "This generation think they invented booze/drugs/sex/cars/fun" (Delete as applicable.)

We, the 80s generation know this is not true, because the 60s generation tell us so. And we know, from our own experiences that the parallels are too close to deny. They're just not so close we can make the young of 2010 see that it's... all... the... fucking... same...

We have a duty, as old people, to complain about The Youth Of Today. Be they committing the sin of Being Loud In Public, or Tagging A Random Wall, The Youth Of Today are louder and taggier than the youths who did it 10, 20 or 30 years ago. Whether they're Crack High or D.U.I they're more of a menace than we, or our parents, ever were. Because they've got, like, knives, and phones, and stuff.

Seriously, I would love to go back to 1985 to 1991 and arm myself, Stoney, Mark, Andy Haslam, Ju Robinson, Nick Ellis, Dave Duffy, Matt Dicketts and my own sister with a video camera and see what, if left to our own devices, we concocted for public consumption. There are names on this list that might not appreciate me pointing this out but... that's my point. We were YOUNG.

Do not blame the young for being young. They are not like us, but they are a product of us. We are the dickheads they hated because we hated the dickheads of our parents generation. Who produced us. Ehhh... you see where this is going...

But Kids Don't Use This Street Like A Racetrack.

Kids Today know more about their chariots than we ever did. God forbid a 17-year old should drop a 1600 lump into a 1.0 Saxo without uprating the brakes. A 2500w sounds system? Pffft! Unheard of, to us. Peanuts to Jake in his Fiesta Si. It's all about insurance...

We hear all the time about how kids driving cars kill other kids in their cars, but the reality is it's something that's been going on continuously since post-ward years. Seriously, I've heard the stories from the 60s... yet here we are: a post 1970 culture complaining about less powerful, more roadworthy vehicles, piloted by offspring with better knowledge, better training, and better hardware than we could ever have hoped for.

This Street IS a Racetrack. It's just not a racetrack like we knew it to be.

What goes around, comes around.