Tuesday, 9 June 2009

The Philosophy That Killed Your Grandparents

The fascist British National Party won two seats and gained ground on the mainstream at the recent European elections. Naturally, it was reported on the news that the nation was up in arms about this. Soon after, politicians "from all major political parties" spoke out against their selection.

Naturally, their knuckledragging leader Nick Griffin once again went to the baying pack that is the British media industry to reinforce the statement "we're not racist, we're not fascists" despite the fact that membership requires you to be, specifically, white.

And that's the best bit about the BNP. You have to be white. Not British. White. Not a lot of people know this, but you don't even have to be British to be a member of the British National Party. If you're of a Caucasian ethnic immigration to the UK you can still be a member! Presumably they also don't delve too deeply into the ancestral ethnicity of their membership, either. Because speaking from family experience it's quite easy to find a heritage that leads you back to an ethnic group that is on the hit list for the Far Right.

All said, I think it's time we accepted (and the voting statistics bear me out) that the BNP is a legitimized political movement. It has been legitimized by a jaded and indifferent voting population that is more concerned with who will be Big Brother's next Jade than who would make a good replacement for the hopefully soon-to-resign Gordon Brown. I also think that in the big scheme of things it's not going to be a wholly negative thing that the BNP has won these seats. Shocked? Hear me out...

When a plague spreads, it spreads because the virus's targets have no immunity to it. It takes people into it's grip in huge numbers, and we lose a significant number of them. Those that resist it become immune to it, and can provide an immunization to others around them. Fascism is a plague. The population has been weakened by apathy, and so the plague spreads. It spreads not because the voters are racists, but because they are politically defenceless to the spread, thanks to their immunity being weakened by tales of cheating, lying, and public betrayal in the corridors of power.

Two seats in Europe for the BNP might just turn out to be the antigen the voting nation needs to stir itself out of apathy, and also a severe wake-up call to British government at all levels that we simply aren't satisfied with the way they are running things. We know that scum can take a foothold if it uses fancy words on the masses, and we know very well our national leaders are currently running very very scared.

But it's these bureaucrats who can solve the issue of good but misguided people voting for the BNP once and for all: employ red tape and existing legislature to make sure the party is forced to use a name that is appropriate to it's political position. It is not a Party for British Nationals. British Nationals are available in a number of colours and shades, not to mention sexual preferences. It is a party for White People. So really it should be called the White Nationalist Party. But I think a better name would be to incorporate the fact that they're racist and will take all Caucasian ethnic backgrounds as members, regardless of their Britishness. I would suggest that we legislate to have the BNP renamed the White And Non-Kaffir Empire Racist Society. In short...


Let's see how many people vote for them under that monicker.

British politics has needed a good kick up the arse for a good decade now. The continuation of Thatcherism under Blair's pseudo-socialist regime was bad enough, and the fact that not only did New Labour continue to privatize British industry but also allow it to be sold cheaply and easily to international ownership furthered my belief that capitalism was sailing Britain to it's doom. This is evidenced with how badly we're affected by the global financial crisis. The fact that immigration and European social policy has been used as a scapegoat for our current ills is no surprise at all to me. It's just a shame that I'm also not surprised people have been brainwashed enough about how the world works to think the only alternative to self-destructive capitalism is a step towards the very far right-wing politics our grandparents fought and died for 60 years ago.

Fascism is a disease. It killed millions, and it did it in the lifetime of people who are still alive to tell the tale. It did it, all denials aside, in the most abhorrent and savage way. It did it by starting off as strong words from smart men to a jaded, once proud nation. Sound familiar? It should.

What goes around, comes around. Already it's been reported that the BNP has sought funding and alliance with other far-right organizations in Europe (yes, that Europe it claims to want autonomy back from) to further it's political ends. Which begs the obvious question: if they're so pro-Britain, why do they need money from Europe?

Because like all political parties, they lie their way into power. Wake up, Britain.

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

And The Winner Of Future Celebrity Big Brother Contestants Is...

Susan Booooyle!

Honestly, I've tried to resist blogging about the whole Susan Boyle media circus. But the latest (as opposed to final) instalment was just too much. It seems that after all the attention and hype, the frumpy middle-aged karaoke singer couldn't cope with the pressure of her fame and was "exhausted" enough to be examined under the Mental Health Act. I listened to the story on the radio with a total lack of shock, a modicum of sympathy, and a considerable amount of scorn for the very media that was blabbering away at me with what was not news but simple gossip.

I was listening to something on Radio 4 the week she hit the headlines for her appearance on Britain's Got Talent. It said what a breath of fresh air it was to have someone so obviously genuinely talented make an appearance on the show, how she evidenced that ordinary people from all walks of life could reach an international audience if their talent was both profound and, indeed, had the "X factor". Susan Boyle, the chap said, was in inspiration to millions, and should be lauded for her clear talent...

...and not mocked for her dowdy appearance and slightly unorthodox (for the 21st century at least) virginal life.

That was the point I immediately tired of her and the bullshit that would come to surround her. Because not a week later I was listening to Radio 2 (I swear I don't listen to these two stations all the time, I prefer 6!) and another dull commentator launched quite a scathing attack on the Boyle phenomenon. It wasn't aimed at her. It was aimed at the whole situation. She said, speaking as someone who worked in musical theatre, that Susan Boyle's voice was representative of a good few hundred chorus line singers in Britian alone. Her appearance was no different to that of many of these singers for whom the stage calls because they love singing, like Boyle. That the media, and the show in particular, had drawn attention to her above others who auditioned for the show simply because her appearance was a new and dynamic angle on a format brimming with the beautiful and the barmy.

My own Dad even had a right old rant when I suggested that she was nothing more than a national joke. "She doesn't deserve these nasty comments!" he fumed. "She's got a wonderful voice, and she shouldn't be mocked!"

"Everything should be mocked, if it can be mocked," I said. We debated no further.

But it's true. I mean, why should she escape the wit of the nation, be it incisive or just plain cruel? It's not like she's new to television, let alone performing to a live audience. If she could handle that twat Barrymore trying to peer at her gnasher all those years ago, I'd've thought she'd be more than equipped to handle the attention that would come with
Britain's Got Talent. Because I'm damn certain that someone that's tried out for a TV show who has a good voice is going to have some level of representation and protection. Plus, let's face it, looking as she does, she must be prtty thick skinned. I'm not being nasty. I'm no oil painting, bum nose and massive earlobes that I have, but I know this. And I'd be amazed if Ms Boyle wasn't aware she's not going to be landing the title in Evita based on her stunning looks.

As far as I'm concerned, if you're putting yourself voluntarily in the media spotlight, you have to accept that spotlight is sometimes going to be so bright it will astonish and frighten you. You're going to have to accept that if you become a very public face, you'd better be prepared for that face to be commented on in public. You're going to have to accept that your life is never going to be the same again...

...until The Next Big Thing comes along. That's the great thing about modern media for people like Susan Boyle. It has the attention span of a strobelit goldfish in a bowl of vodka. It is always looking for someone to put on a pedestal. But that pedestal becomes a dartboard, and soon the attention on skill or beauty or humour or whatever becomes a dark and relentless search into the person's background, history and lifestyle. So you'd better hope you're squeaky clean and as normal as to have no skeletons to even manufacture.

The Next Big Thing will come along. And with it will the the backlash against it. And in good time, the British public will have forgotten Susan Boyle as anything other than "What was the name of the 48-year old virgin that took Britain by storm in 2009?" in a pub quiz. She can go back to singing in church and in her local, and from time to time someone will stop her in the street and go "It is you, isn't it?" without remembering what her name is. The exhaustion can be put behind her and she can lead a normal life once more...

...or she can sign a deal with Satan Cowell's record label and become a huge star for another fifteen minutes, her life managed by a corporate organization, her photos sold to the glorious ranks of Chat, Womans Weekly, Pick Me Up, Shite, and Guff. She'll get her makeovers, her stylists, and then...

...she'll still be usurped by the Next Big Thing. And then six months later, the call will come to appear on Celebrity Big Brother, with other such megastars as Christian O'Connell, Alex Zane, Lady Gaga and Ross Fucking Noble.

Footnote: Having just finished writing this I've read that she turned down a squillion pounds to do a porn movie. Quite honestly I have watched porn with worse looking women than Susan in. So there's something else to look forward to if the singing and drama queening doesn't work out.